Friday, August 1, 2008

Management Study Morals

 
Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson  2 :

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson  3

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson  4

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson  5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
And send this to five bright people who have enough sense of humor to take it!



Job Computers

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1.       Walk-Ins (Fre+Exp) on 1-7 Aug : Patni, IBM Netsol, Binary, Wipro, Sa From: Smiriti Pathak

2.       Tricon Infotech PVT Ltd, Prepsun Data Solution needs Fresher Apply N From: Poonam Kumari

3.       Looking for Fresh Engineers@TCS, Urgent Opening for Java/J2ee Develo From: Poonam Kumari

4.       ==> Apply Now !! All Government & Public Sector Jobs For All  Freshe From: anupma2008_verma

5.       Today's Fresher & Exp Jobs : Accel, SAP Labs, Genpact,  HCL, 0TCS,  From: Priya Kapoor

6.       Jobs For All SAP Aspirants !! Fresher & Experinced Jobs @ forum.OneS From: prati4sap

7.       Categorised Codes & Projects of C, C++, Java, Cobol, Asp & many more From: Smiriti Pathak

Messages

1.       Walk-Ins (Fre+Exp) on 1-7 Aug : Patni, IBM Netsol, Binary, Wipro, Sa

Posted by: "Smiriti Pathak" smiritipathak@yahoo.co.in   smiritipathak

Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:07 pm (PDT)


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Latest Fresher & Experienced Walk-Ins Dear Member,

Here are today's Latest Fresher & Experienced Jobs & Walk-in Information. For career advice and guidance, we strongly recommend you to join DiscussionsWorld. com at http://www.discussi onsworld. com/registration _rules.asp? FID=0 .

Job of the Day Clover Infotech Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 2
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Discription:

Clover Infotech is a premier Oracle and Open Source solutions provider based in India, supporting businesses. We offer end-to-end database solutions and specialize in providing professional services and solutions in Oracle, MS SQL, Linux....

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==> Apply Now !! All Government & Public Sector Jobs For All  Freshe

Posted by: "anupma2008_verma" anupma2008_verma@yahoo.com   anupma2008_verma

Fri Aug 1, 2008 2:16 am (PDT)

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Today's Fresher & Exp Jobs : Accel, SAP Labs, Genpact,  HCL, 0TCS, 

Posted by: "Priya Kapoor" kapoorpriya70@yahoo.co.in   kapoorpriya70

Fri Aug 1, 2008 4:06 am (PDT)

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Accel Frontline Limited is part of the Accel Group of companies with a 15 year long history, and has pioneered the concept of services in the I.T Industry. Accel has partnered with global leaders such as IBM, Sun Microsystems, HP, Intel, Veritas, JD Edwards, Microsoft, Cisco, Lucent, Nortel Networks, 3 Com to mention a few. Accel Frontline Ltd is a joint venture company formed between Accel ICIM Systems & Services Ltd and Frontline Technologies Corporation, Singapore, a leading IT Services organization listed on the Singapore Exchange Main Board. In addition to Frontline Technologies, Intel and ICICI Venture Funds also hold equity position in the company contributing to a global participation on corporate governance. Accel Frontline is a SEI CMMi Level 5, organization.


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6.

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7.

Categorised Codes & Projects of C, C++, Java, Cobol, Asp & many more

Posted by: "Smiriti Pathak" smiritipathak@yahoo.co.in   smiritipathak

Fri Aug 1, 2008 6:48 am (PDT)


Categorised Codes & Projects At Give Me The Code.com, you can find thousands of categorised codes and projects submitted by members for the growth of Open Source Community. Feel free to use these codes, but leave the credit to the author intact.

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Latest Walk-Ins At DiscussionsWorld. com Job of the Day MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27113

Discription:

MobileComm Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd. is subsidiary of MobileComm Professionals, Inc. USA - MobileComm Professionals Inc. is an engineering services organization supporting telecom cellular operators and OEM's to design, deploy and manage wireless networks. MobileComm is ISO9001 certified organization offering complete wireless solution for Engineering. ....

Fresher Jobs & Walk-Ins
Wipro Offcampus Recruitment Drive
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27120


Intellisoft (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27118


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Infosense Technologies Recruits Freshers (IT)
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MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers
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Uniken Systems Recruits Freshers
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ITC Infotech Offcampus for Freshers: Aug 18
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Clover Infotech Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 2
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Satyam BPO Walk-in for Freshers: Weekdays
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IBM Daksh Walk-in for Freshers: July 30 - Aug 4
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27110


RMSI (MNC) Offcampus for Freshers: Aug 16
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27095


Techray (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 30 - 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27093


Goldstone (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 29 - 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27092


Technosoft Global Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 30-31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27091


Aditya Birla Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 29 - Aug 25
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27089


Nous Infosystems Offcampus for Freshers: Jul 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27076


Wipro Offcampus Recruitment Drive
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27075


Vmoksha (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Weekdays
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27073


Fulcrum Logic Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 1
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27067


LOGICA INDIA : Off-Campus : On 2 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27016


Walk-In at WIPRO : On 26 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27013


AMBUJEX TECHNOLOGIES : Off-Campus :On 2 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27012 Experienced Jobs & Walk-Ins
Sonim Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd.
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27126


CA India : Application Support Engineer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27125


Amtex Infotech Pvt Ltd : QA Execuitve
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27124


ShipNet Software Solutions India Pvt Ltd
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27123


7N India : Silk Tester
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27122


SAP MII / SAP xMII : Manager , Bangalore Requirem
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27107


Ellaar Infotech : Java Team Leader
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27102


Indus Business Systems Ltd
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27101


Wipro Infotech-Telecom- J2ee/EBPP
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27100


CoreObjects India Pvt. Ltd :Senior software engg.
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27099


OptSoft IT Solutions P Ltd : Senior Programmers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27098


e-Emphasys Infotech Pvt. Ltd. : Software Engineer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27097


Walkin @ Kelly Services Till 13 Aug
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27010 Government \ Defence Jobs
RRB Ahmedabad (Last Date - 21 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26926


SJVNL : Recruitment for Executive Trainees (5 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26925


NPCIL Recruitment of Stipendiary Trainees (4 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26924


SBI Requires Probationary Officers (16 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26923


CIPET:Recruitment for Engineer Trainee (12 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26922


DSSSB : Recruitment of Junior Engineer (12 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26921 Tips & Tricks for your mobile phone How to Make Your Cell Phone Battery Last Longer.

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3.

IBM Daksh Walk-in for Freshers,Artech Infosystems Pvt. Ltd. looking

Posted by: "Poonam Kumari" poonam_news@yahoo.com   poonam_news

Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:25 pm (PDT)







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Discription:



IBM Daksh offers
business performance
improvement rather than
just cost-savings and is
a step closer to
Business Transformation
Outsourcing. By
unlocking revenue
generation through
up-selling and
cross-selling, improving
customer satisfaction
scores, optimizing
capital use and reducing
operational expenditure,
IBM Daksh offers
far-reaching and
positive impact on
shareholder value.














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Jobs












Oracle Apps - Supply
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IBM Daksh Walk-in for
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Sales Executive /
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Freshers IT Job Opening
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MobileComm Technologies
Recruits Freshers









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opening for HTML, DHTML,
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C / C++ / Java / J2EE
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Jobs for Freshers at
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Freshers IT Job Opening
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Experienced



Jobs







Opening for Silk Tester @ 7N
India





http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/opening- for-silk- tester-7n- i-7262.asp




Sales Executive / Marketing
Executive - 3.5 Lacs - 7 Lacs + Incentives





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QA Test Engineer required @
Sonim Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd.





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Application Support Engineer
for CA India





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QA Execuitve required at
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Openings for QA MANAGERS and
QA ANALYSTS





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OptSoft IT Business
Solutions P Ltd. : Senior Programmer





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4.

Amtex Infotech Pvt Ltd  are looking in for freshers Apply Soon!!!

Posted by: "Poonam Kumari" poonam_news@yahoo.com   poonam_news

Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:06 am (PDT)








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Question
of the Day





While
traveling in a road, the
road diverges left and
right. One way goes to
the heaven and other one
goes to hell I want to
go to heaven. In that
village only two
inhabitants are living
one is knight and other
one is knave. Knight
will always speak truth
and knave will always
speak lie. In that road
one inhabitant is
standing but we don't
know who is he. He might
be an knight or knave i
want to ask a question
to that inhabitant to go
to heaven. How can i
identify that inhabitant
is knight or knave?




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Patni Computer
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5.

GATE 2009 Exam : Cut off's at various colleges & branches and Prepar

Posted by: "Smiriti Pathak" smiritipathak@yahoo.co.in   smiritipathak

Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:49 am (PDT)



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C,C++,ASP,.Net,JAVA,J2ee,PHP,PERL,VB Programming Languages FAQs & Jo

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Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:46 am (PDT)








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