Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2 :
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
And send this to five bright people who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Management Study Morals
Job Computers
Messages In This Digest (7 Messages)
1. Walk-Ins (Fre+Exp) on 1-7 Aug : Patni, IBM Netsol, Binary, Wipro, Sa From: Smiriti Pathak
2. Tricon Infotech PVT Ltd, Prepsun Data Solution needs Fresher Apply N From: Poonam Kumari
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4. ==> Apply Now !! All Government & Public Sector Jobs For All Freshe From: anupma2008_verma
5. Today's Fresher & Exp Jobs : Accel, SAP Labs, Genpact, HCL, 0TCS, From: Priya Kapoor
6. Jobs For All SAP Aspirants !! Fresher & Experinced Jobs @ forum.OneS From: prati4sap
7. Categorised Codes & Projects of C, C++, Java, Cobol, Asp & many more From: Smiriti Pathak
Messages
1. Walk-Ins (Fre+Exp) on 1-7 Aug : Patni, IBM Netsol, Binary, Wipro, Sa
Posted by: "Smiriti Pathak" smiritipathak@yahoo.co.in smiritipathak
Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:07 pm (PDT)
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Latest Fresher & Experienced Walk-Ins Dear Member,
Here are today's Latest Fresher & Experienced Jobs & Walk-in Information. For career advice and guidance, we strongly recommend you to join DiscussionsWorld. com at http://www.discussi onsworld. com/registration _rules.asp? FID=0 .
Job of the Day Clover Infotech Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 2
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27119
Discription:
Clover Infotech is a premier Oracle and Open Source solutions provider based in India, supporting businesses. We offer end-to-end database solutions and specialize in providing professional services and solutions in Oracle, MS SQL, Linux....
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==> Apply Now !! All Government & Public Sector Jobs For All Freshe
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Today's Fresher & Exp Jobs : Accel, SAP Labs, Genpact, HCL, 0TCS,
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Software Companies in Delhi Latest Walk-Ins At Vyoms.Com Job of the Day Requirement for freshers @Accel Frontline Limited
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Discription:
Accel Frontline Limited is part of the Accel Group of companies with a 15 year long history, and has pioneered the concept of services in the I.T Industry. Accel has partnered with global leaders such as IBM, Sun Microsystems, HP, Intel, Veritas, JD Edwards, Microsoft, Cisco, Lucent, Nortel Networks, 3 Com to mention a few. Accel Frontline Ltd is a joint venture company formed between Accel ICIM Systems & Services Ltd and Frontline Technologies Corporation, Singapore, a leading IT Services organization listed on the Singapore Exchange Main Board. In addition to Frontline Technologies, Intel and ICICI Venture Funds also hold equity position in the company contributing to a global participation on corporate governance. Accel Frontline is a SEI CMMi Level 5, organization.
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7.
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Fw: [JobsAssist] Digest Number 393
Messages In This Digest (7 Messages)
- 1.
- ==>Free C Capsule-Learn C, Interview Questions, E-Books For Download From: Sonia_HR INTERVIEW
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- Wipro Offcampus & MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers. From: Smiriti Pathak
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- Urgent openings for JAVA Developer with a CMM Level 5 Company Apply From: Poonam Kumari
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Wipro Offcampus & MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers.
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Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:02 pm (PDT)
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Latest Walk-Ins At DiscussionsWorld. com Job of the Day MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27113
Discription:
MobileComm Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd. is subsidiary of MobileComm Professionals, Inc. USA - MobileComm Professionals Inc. is an engineering services organization supporting telecom cellular operators and OEM's to design, deploy and manage wireless networks. MobileComm is ISO9001 certified organization offering complete wireless solution for Engineering. ....
Fresher Jobs & Walk-Ins
Wipro Offcampus Recruitment Drive
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27120
Intellisoft (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27118
Zedo India (MNC) Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27117
Infosense Technologies Recruits Freshers (IT)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27116
Redington Recruits Freshers (IT)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27114
MobileComm Technologies (MNC) Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27113
Uniken Systems Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27109
ProWebs Require ASP.NET Programmers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27106
BigStep Technologies : PHP / MySQL Developer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27105
JSM Technologies pvt. ltd. - ASP.Net C#
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27104
Almighty Software Pvt Ltd : PHP MySQL Developer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27103
SAP Labs Recruits Freshers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27096
ITC Infotech Offcampus for Freshers: Aug 18
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27121
Clover Infotech Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 2
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27119
BA Continuum Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 2
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27115
Kochar Infotech Walk-in for Freshers: Weekdays
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27112
Satyam BPO Walk-in for Freshers: Weekdays
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27111
IBM Daksh Walk-in for Freshers: July 30 - Aug 4
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27110
RMSI (MNC) Offcampus for Freshers: Aug 16
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27095
Techray (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 30 - 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27093
Goldstone (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 29 - 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27092
Technosoft Global Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 30-31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27091
Aditya Birla Walk-in for Freshers: Jul 29 - Aug 25
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27089
Nous Infosystems Offcampus for Freshers: Jul 31
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27076
Wipro Offcampus Recruitment Drive
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27075
Vmoksha (MNC) Walk-in for Freshers: Weekdays
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27073
Fulcrum Logic Walk-in for Freshers: Aug 1
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27067
LOGICA INDIA : Off-Campus : On 2 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27016
Walk-In at WIPRO : On 26 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27013
AMBUJEX TECHNOLOGIES : Off-Campus :On 2 Aug 2008
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27012 Experienced Jobs & Walk-Ins
Sonim Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd.
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27126
CA India : Application Support Engineer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27125
Amtex Infotech Pvt Ltd : QA Execuitve
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27124
ShipNet Software Solutions India Pvt Ltd
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27123
7N India : Silk Tester
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27122
SAP MII / SAP xMII : Manager , Bangalore Requirem
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27107
Ellaar Infotech : Java Team Leader
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27102
Indus Business Systems Ltd
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27101
Wipro Infotech-Telecom- J2ee/EBPP
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27100
CoreObjects India Pvt. Ltd :Senior software engg.
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27099
OptSoft IT Solutions P Ltd : Senior Programmers
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27098
e-Emphasys Infotech Pvt. Ltd. : Software Engineer
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27097
Walkin @ Kelly Services Till 13 Aug
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=27010 Government \ Defence Jobs
RRB Ahmedabad (Last Date - 21 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26926
SJVNL : Recruitment for Executive Trainees (5 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26925
NPCIL Recruitment of Stipendiary Trainees (4 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26924
SBI Requires Probationary Officers (16 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26923
CIPET:Recruitment for Engineer Trainee (12 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26922
DSSSB : Recruitment of Junior Engineer (12 Aug)
http://www.discussi onsworld. com/forum_ posts.asp? TID=26921 Tips & Tricks for your mobile phone How to Make Your Cell Phone Battery Last Longer.
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- 3.
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http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/ibm- daksh-walk- in-for-freshers- 7261.asp
Discription:
IBM Daksh offers
business performance
improvement rather than
just cost-savings and is
a step closer to
Business Transformation
Outsourcing. By
unlocking revenue
generation through
up-selling and
cross-selling, improving
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IBM Daksh offers
far-reaching and
positive impact on
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Fresher
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Oracle Apps - Supply
Chain Management
Consultant
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/oracle- apps-supply- chain-man- 7263.asp
IBM Daksh Walk-in for
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http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/ibm- daksh-walk- in-for-freshers- 7261.asp
Sales Executive /
Marketing Executive -
3.5 Lacs - 7 Lacs +
Incentives
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/sales- executive- marketing- ex-7260.asp
Freshers IT Job Opening
at Celestial Labs
Limited
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/freshers -it-job-opening- at-cel-7259. asp
Freshers IT Job Opening
at Redington
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/freshers -it-job-opening- at-red-7255. asp
MobileComm Technologies
Recruits Freshers
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/mobileco mm-technologies- recrui-7252. asp
opening for HTML, DHTML,
JavaScript ,PHP / MySQL
at eLuminous
Technologies
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/opening- for-html- dhtml-javas- 7250.asp
Wipro Offcampus
Recruitment for freshers
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/wipro- offcampus- recruitment- fo-7249.asp
Satyam Walk-in for
Freshers
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/satyam- walk-in-for- freshers- 7248.asp
C / C++ / Java / J2EE
Developers - Software
Engineers (0-5 Yrs)
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/c- c-java-j2ee- develope- 7247.asp
Software Testing
Engineer - Test Engineer
- (0-5 Yr)
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/software -testing- engineer- te-7245.asp
Jobs for Freshers at
Zodiac Clothing
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/jobs- for-freshers- at-zodiac- cl-7239.asp
Freshers IT Job Opening
at India Infoline
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Experienced
Jobs
Opening for Silk Tester @ 7N
India
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/opening- for-silk- tester-7n- i-7262.asp
Sales Executive / Marketing
Executive - 3.5 Lacs - 7 Lacs + Incentives
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/sales- executive- marketing- ex-7260.asp
QA Test Engineer required @
Sonim Technologies (India) Pvt. Ltd.
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/qa- test-engineer- required- so-7257.asp
Application Support Engineer
for CA India
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/applicat ion-support- engineer- f-7256.asp
QA Execuitve required at
Amtex Infotech Pvt Ltd
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/qa- execuitve- required- at-amtex- 7253.asp
Openings for QA MANAGERS and
QA ANALYSTS
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OptSoft IT Business
Solutions P Ltd. : Senior Programmer
http://www.vyoms. com/jobs/ details/optsoft- it-business- solutions- -7243.asp
- 4.
Amtex Infotech Pvt Ltd are looking in for freshers Apply Soon!!!
Posted by: "Poonam Kumari" poonam_news@yahoo.com poonam_news
Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:06 am (PDT)
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While
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inhabitants are living
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will always speak truth
and knave will always
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Patni Computer
Systems Ltd Needs to
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http://www.jobsassi st.com/jobs/ JobDescription. asp?JobId= 23449
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Y On Earth
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GATE 2009 Exam : Cut off's at various colleges & branches and Prepar
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